New Superman Soars at Box Office, Melts Snowflakes Faster Than Laser Vision
In a cinematic event that has right-wing Twitter clutching its pearls harder than Kryptonite, James Gunn’s new Superman reboot has dared—DARED—to do the unthinkable: portray Superman as… an immigrant.
That’s right. The man who literally arrived on Earth inside an alien spacecraft and was raised in Kansas by corn-fed parents is apparently—brace yourselves—not originally from here.
A Super Immigrant? Say It Ain’t So
The controversy began the moment early reviews dropped, with critics praising Gunn’s return to the character’s roots: a powerful outsider trying to find belonging, balance his identities, and do good in a world that keeps moving the goalposts.
So, basically: a metaphor for the immigrant experience.
Naturally, this sent certain pundits into an apocalyptic tailspin.
“Superman is an American icon, not a political statement!”
— says guy tweeting from a bald eagle-themed bunker made entirely of bootstraps
David Corenswet Is Clark Kent—And People Are Mad About That Too?
Corenswet’s performance as Clark Kent is being called “earnest,” “nuanced,” and “exactly the kind of Superman we forgot we needed.” But for some fans, it’s not enough unless he punches people through buildings while mumbling about liberty.
One critic shouted:
“This Superman FEELS emotions! He’s TOO relatable! He talks about identity! Where’s the property damage?!”
Others accused the film of “injecting politics into comic books,” which is especially hilarious considering Superman was created in 1938 by two Jewish kids as a response to fascism.
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 91% and Rising
Despite the noise, Superman is flying high with a 91% critics score on Rotten Tomatoes, bolstered by glowing praise for Gunn’s direction, Corenswet’s humanity, and a story that feels both modern and classic.
Audiences are loving the blend of heart, hope, and heroism—though some are disappointed the villain wasn’t “liberalism itself.”
Gunn Responds, Sort Of
When asked about the backlash, James Gunn replied:
“If showing compassion, empathy, and the immigrant journey makes Superman ‘woke,’ then maybe it’s time people wake up.”
He then disappeared in a cloud of Twitter block buttons.
Final Thoughts
The new Superman isn’t political.
It’s personal.
It’s hopeful.
And it reminds us that being an outsider doesn’t make you dangerous—it makes you human.
Or, you know, Kryptonian with laser eyes and a heart of gold.
Either way, he’s still fighting for truth, justice, and a better tomorrow.
Whether or not your favorite cable host approves.