I love a good road trip in theory. The open road, the promise of adventure, the illusion of freedom—what’s not to romanticize? But let’s be honest: once you’ve sat in the same position for six hours, subsisting on gas station snacks and Bluetooth arguments over who gets to DJ, the glamor fades. Quickly.
Still, there’s something about road trips I’ll always love. Maybe it’s the nostalgia of teenage me sneaking off with friends for concerts three towns over. Or maybe it’s the grown-ass version of me who now travels in style—style being a soft blanket, an over-packed snack bin, and one incredibly tolerant boyfriend named Matthew. I’ve turned road tripping into a personal art form, and like any artist, I have tools of the trade.
So buckle up, buttercup. Here are my non-negotiable road trip essentials. Because if I’m going to spend hours trapped in a vehicle, I’m at least going to do it with flair, snacks, and good skin care.
1. Snacks That Don’t Crumble (And a Few That Absolutely Do)
Look, the snack game is crucial. If you’ve ever been hangry 80 miles from the next rest stop, you know why. My essentials include trail mix (the kind with extra M&Ms and minimal effort), spicy pickle chips, gummy bears, and at least one item that makes a mess but brings me joy—looking at you, powdered donuts.
Matthew pretends to be a healthy snacker, but if I buy Cheez-Its, he’s elbow-deep in the box by hour two. Daisy, our chihuahua daughter, also expects her road cheese or I’m getting side-eyed until we pull over. Everyone in the car has a palate, and no one is allowed to be boring about it.
2. Blanket, Pillow, Emotional Support Hoodie
Comfort is a non-negotiable, and anyone who disagrees clearly doesn’t have the back pain of a 40-year-old who’s lived through multiple traumas and one very dramatic office chair. I travel with a fleecy blanket, a squishy pillow, and an oversized hoodie that smells like lavender, Taco Bell, or both depending on the day.
It also becomes a signal—hood up = do not talk to me, I’m recalibrating.
3. Podcasts or Playlists, But Never Both at Once
There is no faster way to derail a peaceful trip than podcast-versus-music wars. I love true crime and weird history podcasts. Matthew, on the other hand, wants playlists that bounce from Beyonce to obscure ‘80s French disco like it’s a personal flex. The compromise? A rotating schedule. One hour of murder, one hour of mood.
The playlist I curate is sacred. It includes at least one power ballad for dramatic window-staring and several queer anthems that must be lip-synced at top volume. If I don’t scream-sing “Since U Been Gone” into the air conditioning vents at least once, we turn around.
4. Road Trip Toiletries
Don’t roll your eyes. This is self-care. In my road trip kit: wet wipes, lip balm, hand sanitizer that smells like bougie citrus, dry shampoo, travel toothbrush, and a little pouch of Dramamine for when Matthew takes an on-ramp like he’s trying to shake the CIA.
Also, lotion. Highway air is not kind, and I refuse to emerge from a car looking like a lizard on day three of a desert fast.
5. Trash Bag. Because Let’s Be Honest.
We’re not animals. Every car needs a designated trash bag—or a trash box, if you’re me and like extra structure. It gets filled quickly with snack wrappers, receipts, coffee cups, and the remains of poor decisions made at questionable drive-thrus. But having it makes you feel 20% more like an adult and 30% less like a raccoon with Wi-Fi.
6. Physical Map. Yes, I Said It.
I know, I know. We have GPS. But the number of times I’ve been on the road with zero signal and a very confused navigation app? Too many. So yes, I carry an actual paper map. Matthew laughs at me every time I unfold it like I’m about to draft the Louisiana Purchase. But when Google fails, I’m suddenly Lewis and Clark with tinted windows.
7. Sunglasses and Backup Sunglasses
There is no rage quite like the kind sparked by blinding sunlight mid-lane change. I pack my usual oversized sunglasses (the kind that make me look like I’m avoiding paparazzi), and a backup pair in the glove box, because I will absolutely forget them at a rest stop in the middle of nowhere. It’s tradition.
8. Entertainment for Daisy (Because She’s Royalty)
Daisy travels like a diva. She has a booster seat, a mini fan, and a chew toy shaped like a taco. She expects to be sung to, occasionally hand-fed, and allowed to bark at cows as we pass them. The car is her kingdom, and we are simply her staff.
God help you if you put your feet on her blanket.
9. Car Games That Keep You Sane (and a Little Insane)
We do the classics: license plate games, “Would You Rather,” and making up fake backstories for other drivers (Matthew once decided a guy in a Subaru was a disgraced soap opera actor in witness protection). These games pass the time and make us laugh until I have to pull over for a bathroom break I swore I didn’t need.
Sometimes I’ll randomly turn to Matthew and say, “Blink once if you’re being held against your will,” just to keep things interesting. The confusion on strangers’ faces is the gift that keeps on giving.
10. Flexible Plans (And a Great Excuse to Change Them)
The last essential isn’t something you can pack—it’s the willingness to let the road trip surprise you. Some of the best memories I’ve made have come from taking a wrong turn, stumbling into a weird roadside attraction, or deciding mid-trip to just… detour for the hell of it. A road trip isn’t about the destination. It’s about the unexpected karaoke in a hotel lobby, the biscuit place in the middle of nowhere that serves life-changing gravy, and the quiet moment watching the sunset over a Walmart parking lot while Daisy pees on some grass.
So pack well, snack often, and take the damn scenic route. Just don’t forget your sunglasses or your sense of humor. The road’s better when you make it yours.