Let’s get one thing straight: Nutrition advice is a minefield. One minute, eggs are the devil’s cholesterol bombs; the next, they’re the MVPs of your breakfast lineup. Carbs were your best friend in 1998 and became public enemy number one by 2004. Don’t even get me started on the drama surrounding coffee. (Is it aging me? Is it saving me? Who knows? I’ve made peace with the fact that I’ll die caffeinated.)
Between social media influencers with questionable credentials and half-baked wellness gurus peddling $17 green sludge, it’s easy to feel like you’re flunking a class you didn’t sign up for. So let’s cut through the nonsense and look at some of the most persistent food myths floating around—and what’s actually true.
Myth #1: Carbs Are Bad for You
No. Just… no. Carbs are not your enemy. Your brain literally runs on glucose, and that’s a carbohydrate. What is worth examining is the type of carbs you’re eating. Whole grains, fruits, vegetables? Great. Donuts the size of your head every morning? Maybe less great (but occasionally necessary for spiritual balance). Demonizing all carbs is like canceling music because of one bad country album.
Myth #2: “Natural” Means Healthy
“Natural” on a food label means exactly nothing. There’s no real regulation behind it. Cyanide is natural. Arsenic? Also natural. So is bee venom and your ex’s ability to gaslight. That doesn’t mean they’re good for you. Read the ingredient list. If the first three things are sugar, syrup, and lies—you’re not buying a health food.
Myth #3: You Need to Do a Juice Cleanse to Detox
Your liver and kidneys already detox your body. That’s literally their full-time job. Juice cleanses, while trendy, are often glorified starvation diets in a glass. They spike your blood sugar, leave you hangry, and make you fantasize about eating drywall. Want to support your body’s detox process? Drink water. Eat fiber. Poop regularly. Revolutionary, I know.
Myth #4: Fat Will Make You Fat
False. Fat doesn’t automatically equal fat gain. In fact, healthy fats (avocados, nuts, olive oil, Matthew’s beard) are essential for brain function, hormone production, and feeling full. It’s about balance and quality, not erasing fat from your plate like it’s a scandal.
Myth #5: If It’s Gluten-Free, It’s Healthier
Unless you have celiac disease or a diagnosed gluten intolerance, there is no magical health benefit to avoiding gluten. In fact, many gluten-free processed foods are less nutritious than their gluten-full counterparts. Plus, some of them taste like regret and cardboard had a baby. Don’t fall for buzzwords. Fall for real nutrition.
Myth #6: Eating Late at Night Makes You Gain Weight
What matters more than the time you eat is how much and what you eat throughout the day. Eating a whole pizza at 10 p.m. isn’t ideal—not because it’s 10 p.m., but because it’s a whole pizza. Your body doesn’t have an internal clock that says, “It’s 9:59—turn that salad into thigh fat, Janet!”
Myth #7: “Calories In, Calories Out” Is All That Matters
Calories matter, yes. But the quality of your calories and how your body processes them matters too. 200 calories of almonds will fuel you differently than 200 calories of gummy bears. (No offense to gummy bears. They’re important emotionally.) Also, factors like metabolism, hormones, and mental health all play a role. It’s not a math equation—it’s a system.
Myth #8: Fresh Produce Is Always Better Than Frozen
Frozen fruits and veggies are often picked at peak ripeness and flash-frozen to preserve nutrients. In contrast, “fresh” produce may have traveled 1,000 miles and sat in a bin for a week. Don’t let anyone shame your frozen spinach—it’s doing great.
Myth #9: Sugar From Fruit Is Bad Too
Okay, yes, fruit has sugar—but it also has fiber, water, vitamins, and antioxidants. It’s not the same as drinking a can of soda. Bananas are not the problem. You downing three Frappuccinos a day and pretending it’s hydration? That might be.
Myth #10: You Need to Eat Clean 100% of the Time
Let’s be honest—“clean eating” is often just a sanitized term for disordered eating. Food isn’t morally good or bad. You’re not a better person because you had quinoa instead of curly fries. (But if you managed to have both? Congratulations, you’ve unlocked balance.) Eat well most of the time. And when you don’t? Enjoy it, move on, and stop punishing yourself.
A Few Actual Tips That Help (No Myth Required)
- Eat a variety of colors. If your plate looks like a Pride parade, you’re doing it right.
- Hydrate like you’re in a competition with your past mistakes.
- Don’t skip meals to “save up” for a binge. That’s budgeting for sadness.
- Focus on how food makes you feel, not just how it makes you look.
- If your relationship with food feels complicated, a registered dietitian (not an Instagram model) can help.
Final Thoughts from a Former 428 lb. Teenage Carb-Addict Turned Health-Adjacent Adult
I’ve tried every diet. I’ve done cabbage soup, South Beach, Weight Watchers, keto (badly), and at one point, I considered if sadness could be counted as a meal. What I’ve learned is this: food should nourish you, not punish you. It should be something that supports your life, not dominates it.
So the next time someone tells you gluten is the devil, fat is evil, and kale is a moral imperative—smile, nod, and go enjoy your sandwich.
Just maybe with some extra avocado. For the healthy fats. And the vibe.