The digital winds carry a fresh current today, signaling not just a new post, but a refreshed journey. The vast, ever-evolving landscape of the internet is a space where voices rise and fall, where platforms shift, and where the most authentic expressions often find their truest resonance. Today, I’m extending a renewed invitation to step into my corner of this boundless expanse, to share in the reflections, the insights, and the often-unfiltered thoughts that define my world. Welcome to A Bee’s-Eye View from the Clouds, a space where life, in all its messy, beautiful, and utterly compelling complexity, is laid bare.
This isn’t a rigid schedule; it’s a living journal, a continuous stream of consciousness from a mind that rarely rests. My name is Brandon Cloud, though many of you know me as “The Clobra” (a nod to my college days, a unique mashup of my last and first names, “Clo” and “Bra”—our grading identifier, no less!). I’m a 40-year-old gay, biracial (half White, half Puerto Rican) man, planting my roots and finding my stride in the vibrant, sometimes bewildering, city of Austin, Texas. And frankly, this blog is less a hobby and more a necessity: I need to write to keep sane, even if no one reads.
Why I Write: The Unburdening of a Complex Life
My journey to this digital space is a testament to the fact that some stories simply demand to be told, some thoughts demand to be processed, and some experiences need to find their articulation. This isn’t about chasing fame or viral moments; it’s about a profound internal imperative. My life has been, to put it mildly, a series of profound challenges and unexpected joys, each leaving an indelible mark.
- A Childhood Forged in Fire: My earliest years in West Texas were a crucible of hidden pain. I’m a product of a complex beginning, my mother a survivor of sexual assault, which created a profound family divide. My childhood was marked by the terrifying reality of an abusive, alcoholic stepfather, leaving indelible scars and a fundamental struggle with trust.
- The Weight of Being ‘Different’: Growing up biracial and secretly gay in a small, conservative, religious Texas town was a constant navigation of unspoken rules and subtle alienation. This led to the trauma of being outed at 15, enduring a harmful “pray the gay away” camp (where I was sexually assaulted by a mentor), and ultimately being kicked out of my home at 16. This period of couch surfing and raw survival instilled in me a fierce independence, but also a deep understanding of loneliness and betrayal.
- Building My Own Foundations: With no family safety net (my wealthy biological family, whose money and influence never trickled down to me, largely disowned me), I put myself through college. I worked multiple jobs, taking a full course load at the University of Texas, a testament to sheer grit. I earned my Master of Science in Nursing (MSN) in 2008 and later my MBA from UT Arlington, meticulously building a career from nursing administration to hospitality management, even writing for Huffington Post.
- Confronting Mortality: The stark reality of a Stage 2 throat cancer diagnosis in 2022 irrevocably shifted my perspective. My journey through radiation and ongoing oral chemotherapy (with its brutal side effects, including hair loss and constant nausea) underscored life’s precious brevity. It illuminated the profound link between physical and mental well-being, pushing me to prioritize experiences, self-care, and true connection. My body, impacted also by losing my sense of smell to COVID-19 in 2021 (a sensory silence that surprisingly brought some peace, given unpleasant smells), is a living testament to resilience.
- Finding My Horizon: Amidst these challenges, I found profound joy. After a long, abusive relationship (18-32), the prospect of love felt daunting. But Matthew, my amazing partner, has utterly changed my life. He’s making everything feel easy, accepting my flaws, and inspiring me to be my best self. He, along with my incredible chosen family (Shelby, Melissa, Keke, Tasi, and my work team), are the bedrock of my current happiness. Our shared adventures, from cross-country road trips (Hawaii, San Francisco, Chicago, Dallas, Grand Canyon, Las Vegas, Redwood Forest, LA, San Diego) to quiet nights in, are the very essence of my well-being.
This blog is my constant dialogue, my way of processing these rich, often tumultuous, experiences. It’s my space to maintain sanity, to channel the internal monologue, and to ensure my perspective, my truth, is articulated, regardless of who is listening.
What You’ll Find Here: A Universe of Unfiltered Exploration
Here, within A Bee’s-Eye View from the Clouds, I invite you to join me in an unfiltered exploration of the myriad facets of my world. No strict schedule, just honest reflections as they unfold:
- Life, Love, and Relationships: From navigating the complexities of modern dating (as a monogamy-centered gay man finally finding “ease” in a partner, having prepared for “exit signs” after past abandonment) to celebrating the profound power of chosen family, I delve into the human heart. I share insights on trust, vulnerability, and the sometimes-painful lessons learned from toxic love.
- Pain and Trauma (and the Healing Journey): I offer raw, honest reflections on surviving trauma, its lingering echoes, and the continuous journey of healing. This includes my personal battles with mental health, body dysmorphia, and the ongoing process of self-acceptance.
- Pop Culture, Music, Film, and Television: My analytical mind, coupled with a deep passion for the arts, leads to in-depth critiques and appreciative celebrations. From why ’80s music is overrated (a hot take!) to the profound impact of ’90s Alternative (Alanis Morissette’s raw truth!) and the enduring legacies of icons like Mariah Carey, Lady Gaga, Adele, Rihanna, Kelly Clarkson, Kelsea Ballerini, and the unforgettable Joan Rivers. I dissect groundbreaking TV like ‘ER’, ‘NYPD Blue’, ‘The West Wing’, ‘Grey’s Anatomy’, ‘Charmed’, ‘Lost’ (how it lost its way!), ‘Pose’ (a revolution!), ‘Hacks’ (mastering cancel culture), ‘Designing Women’, and ‘The Golden Girls’. I explore how these narratives shape our understanding of life, love, and justice.
- Gaming: My lifelong love affair with video games is a constant source of exploration. From the strategic depths of MMOs (World of Warcraft, Final Fantasy XIV, Star Wars: The Old Republic) and RPGs (The Last of Us Part II, Baldur’s Gate 3) to the brilliance of the Support role in Overwatch (which helped me survive the pandemic!). I dive into game design, character agency, the evolution of gaming, and the pure joy of tabletop games. I even confess my addiction to escape rooms (“IRL video games!”).
- Business & Education: With my MBA, I explore topics from the 4 Ps of Marketing to the complex question of whether college is still worth it after two Master’s degrees. I reflect on leadership, the art of sales, and the unexpected insights gained from my diverse professional career.
- Politics & Society: As a gay atheist liberal Democrat from Texas, I offer sharp, unfiltered perspectives on everything from Right-Wing Media Bias to gun violence, the imperative of LGBTQ+ rights, and the enduring hope for universal healthcare. I speak truth to power, challenge hypocrisy (like “thoughts and prayers” as inaction), and advocate for a more just and compassionate society, even when it means making “unpopular” observations (like my take on Bill Maher).
- Personal Reflections: Interwoven through all of this are deeply personal narratives—my love for Reese’s as a comfort food, the unexpected wisdom found in insomnia, the ongoing battle against the guilt of rest, and the raw honesty of realizing that sometimes I’m the problem.
This blog is my unyielding commitment to living authentically, to embracing every facet of my complex identity, and to sharing the insights gleaned from a life fully lived. I believe resilience is a superpower, joy is an act of resistance, and authenticity is the only way to truly connect. Join me here for sharp insights, honest reflections, and a unique perspective on the messy, beautiful reality of life.