The last few days have unfolded with a radiance that truly fills my entire being. After a long, fulfilling week at work, made incredibly joyful by my amazing team who truly embraced the spirit of Halloween, plunging headfirst last weekend with Matthew, in Dallas. And what a weekend it was! My heart is genuinely soaring, a profound sense of connection and peace settling over me. The laughter still echoes, the warmth still lingers, and the quiet satisfaction of finding such profound joy is a constant, affirming hum. Shelby, Mary Anne, and I headed to Austin for the weekend to spend time with him, hoping to earn the approval of two of the people who mean the most to me. So far, so good. I really want them to like him—because I can genuinely see a future with him.
It’s in this very glow, this deep well of personal happiness, that my thoughts turn to a powerful, resonant truth: Joy is Resistance. In a world that so often tries to strip away our happiness, to make us question our worth, to diminish our identities, choosing to be loud, loved, and unapologetically ourselves isn’t just a personal preference—it’s a deeply political act.
The Audacity of Joy: A Political Statement in a Challenging Atmosphere
For marginalized communities, particularly the LGBTQ+ community, the act of simply being happy, authentically, openly, and without reservation, is revolutionary. In a society that has historically sought to pathologize, criminalize, and shame our identities, every smile, every public display of affection, every moment of unburdened laughter becomes a defiant act against the prevailing currents of prejudice.
Consider this: I am a gay man, a liberal Democrat, living openly in Texas—a state that, as I’ve often discussed, is a complex tapestry where progressive urban centers exist within a broader conservative political landscape. To build love, to express joy, to forge meaningful connections out loud in this environment is inherently political. It’s a direct challenge to the notion that our lives are somehow “less than,” “unnatural,” or deserving of anything but full acceptance.
- Queer Love, Lived Out Loud: The simple act of holding Matthew’s hand, sharing a kiss, or just existing as an openly gay couple in Dallas—a city that holds so much personal history for me—is a statement. It’s a testament to the enduring power of love to transcend prejudice. Every moment of our weekend, from walking through the gay district I frequented in my twenties to sharing quiet dinners, was an assertion of our right to love freely and visibly. This unapologetic display of queer love, in a world that often tries to push it into the shadows, becomes a powerful beacon. It says: “We exist. We love. And our love is beautiful and valid.”
- Chosen Family: The Unbreakable Foundation: My squad, my chosen work family, who celebrated my birthday with such genuine warmth and joy, are more than just friends; they are my lifeline. For many in the LGBTQ+ community, who have faced rejection from biological families (as I experienced), chosen family is not a concept; it is a vital, life-sustaining reality. These bonds, forged in empathy, understanding, and unconditional acceptance, provide the emotional sustenance needed to navigate a world that can be harsh. To lean on them, to celebrate with them, to simply be with them—this is a profound act of resistance against isolation.
- Unapologetic Softness: A Defiance of Rigid Norms: As a man who embraces emotional depth, vulnerability, and tenderness, I’ve often found myself at odds with rigid societal expectations of “masculinity.” Choosing to express softness, to cry during a poignant movie, to openly seek love and companionship, to simply feel deeply—these are all acts of defiance in a culture that still often equates strength with stoicism and emotional repression. In a world that often tries to force men into narrow, emotionally constipated molds, my unapologetic softness is a form of powerful resistance, a refusal to shrink my emotional landscape.
The Power of Thriving: A Statement That Resonates Beyond Words
In a time when basic human rights are still being debated, when discriminatory legislation targets vulnerable communities, and when a significant portion of political discourse seeks to diminish or erase entire identities (as I’ve discussed in previous Opinionated Sting posts), simply thriving becomes a profound political statement.
- It Undermines Bigotry: When individuals from marginalized communities live openly, joyfully, and successfully, it fundamentally undermines the hateful narratives peddled by bigots. It provides undeniable, lived proof that prejudice is based on falsehoods. A thriving queer person dismantles stereotypes with every breath.
- It Inspires Hope: Seeing others live authentically and find happiness provides immense hope for those still struggling in the shadows. It expands the horizon of possibility, showing that liberation is attainable. My hope for Matthew and me, our shared joy, becomes a small ripple in a larger wave of possibility.
- It Forces Acknowledgment: When we refuse to be silenced, when we live our lives openly and without apology, it forces society to acknowledge our existence, our contributions, and our inherent worth. It disrupts the comfortable apathy of those who would prefer we remain invisible.
Amplifying Peace and Power: The Ecosystem of Support
This entire process—this journey of embracing joy as resistance—is not undertaken alone. It’s profoundly shaped by the people who choose to surround me, to stand with me, to amplify my peace and my power.
- Matthew: In this new, exhilarating chapter, Matthew is becoming a profound source of affirmation. His presence, his kindness, his genuine desire for deep connection, and his willingness to embrace all of me, allows me to truly lower my defenses. He reflects back to me a sense of worth and love that makes embracing joy feel natural, not defiant. He is helping to cultivate a peaceful, radiant atmosphere in my life.
- Shelby & My Chosen Family: My conversation with my friend Shelby that sparked the idea for my “Mind Your Biscuits” post, and the collective support of my chosen family, are absolutely vital. They are the individuals who understand the nuances of my journey, who celebrate my triumphs, and who provide unwavering support when the inevitable challenges arise. They are the unwavering light sources in my personal constellation, dispelling any lingering shadows.
Choosing to be loud, to be loved, and to be unapologetically myself—even in Texas, even after heartbreak, even in the face of ongoing societal prejudice—is my deepest commitment to living fully. It’s an act of radical self-acceptance and a testament to the power of authentic joy. It’s a refusal to let external forces dictate my inner state. And that, my friends, is a resistance I will happily embrace every single day.
How do you find and embrace your joy as an act of resistance in your own life? What connections amplify your peace and power? Share your thoughts below—let’s keep this Social Swarm Speak generating powerful dialogue and celebrating authentic living!